Cheney Named Worst Vice President Ever, Best Incarnation of Satan
A recent national poll has shown that almost a quarter of the population thought Dick Cheney was the worst vice president ever. Of those questioned, 23% said that Cheney was the worst vice president in the history of America, and 76% said that Dick Cheney was the worst vice president in the history of the universe.
In an interview Sunday, Cheney said he wasn’t bothered by the polls suggesting how unpopular he was. Cheney said, “Frankly, I would not want to be one of those guys who spends all his time reading polls.” He went on to continue that he also wasn’t one of those guys with a mortal soul.
While many modern Americans feel that looking into Cheney’s eyes is the most terrifying thing in the world, those same modern Americans have obviously never seen a picture of Vice President John C. Breckinridge.
It is clear that Breckinridge’s eyes are entirely black, and that he is either constipated, or Satan himself. Oh, Breckinridge also joined the Confederacy during the Civil War - after he had been Vice President… and run for President. After the Civil War he fled to Cuba. Even those most in favor of naming Cheney the worst veep ever are willing to admit that he would never, ever move to Cuba. No way.
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