I just wanted to write in the spirit of the holidays to remind you of all the good times we’ve had together. I know there are sexier phones then me now, phones that let you touch, and manipulate, and play with them in new, creative ways we’ve never tried, but, come on, isn’t our relationship perfectly adequate? Haven’t I always been there for you to BBM with that cute girl from your art history class while you were supposed to be hanging out with your friends having a good time? And haven’t I always given you somewhat limited access to the internet where you could sort of scroll through Facebook when you were super bored in a meeting? How many bricks have we broken together? Thousands! read more…
Well, once again, it pays to get news only from satirical news sources, because as Jon Stewart has pointed out, not one of the major networks has covered the Zadroga bill, a bill that would use expiring tax cuts for the wealthy to pay for 9/11 first responders’ medical bills. It’s being held up by a Republican filibuster. Gotta love politics!
I have a feeling I’m different from everyone else, in that, I really like it when The Daily Show gets heated and gives up a few laughs to make a real point. Real points like: “We lost a lot of good cash that day.” The segment afterward was an interview with four first responders who are all dying from the chemicals they inhaled for months working at Ground Zero. You can watch that here. Sorry none of this was very funny. Now, imagine a nun pooping in her habit. There, comedy balance restored.
There’s nothing Hollywood loves more than a successful franchise (other than the money earned by a successful franchise). Here are 5 totally unnecessary sequel pitches currently in the works, that, like Tron 2, or Indiana Jones 4, will be amazing even though they come out over a decade too late. read more…
To round out Spiderman Week here on my blog and nowhere else, I’m going to introduce you to my absolute favorite take on the superhero in any medium. May I present to you: Italian Spiderman! It is by far the most graphic, and overweight, version of Spiderman you’ll see today. Here’s the trailer:
Shut your mouth, pussycat! You can get more of the super festy puncho puncho with the first episode below the jump. read more…
Today’s Colby Day Film Review is 2001: A Space Odyssey. I watched it because I love space, and evil robots taking over the world, and I knew this had both. Turned out, it’s not really about either of those things, or about anything really. What this movie does have though is that sweet drum music from Spaceballs, some big black rocks, and a trippy space palace on Jupiter. Oh, also a fetus floats around space. It’s sweet. read more…
When I am on a quiet street,
Bundled up right to the nape,
I walk gingerly upon my feet,
Because my shoes are made tape.
I look around, see no one’s out,
And breathe a sigh I must admit,
I am alone without a doubt,
And so have time to take a shit.
Suddenly from out of nowhere,
A man appears and yells at me,
I have to run, get out of there,
I just had time to take a pee.
Don’t you worry though dear reader, for I am wily and quick,
I didn’t leave without a fight, I slapped the man with my dick.
For that is just what happens when, you take a hobo’s right to crap,
For if you punish a bum, then, you’re bound to get a cock slap.
Here’s another Spider-man (or is it Spydermann?) post for you. Conan was able to get another sneak peek of the upcoming musical entitled Turn Off the Dark (the story deals heavily with a right wing politician trying to impeach Barack Obama). Here it is:
I hope to god there is a spin-off serial about wheelchair bound Black Aquaman. Make it happen, internet.
Here’s a swell invitation to video party with Derek Spaldo this Christmas time. It’s in the tradition of Tim & Eric, so if you don’t like awkward slow motion and weird video cuts with people mispronouncing things, you will not like it. WILL NOT LIKE IT. LIKE IT. Everyone else who knows things about funny things will. I promise. Okay, so I don’t promise, but I’m guessing. I’m kind of going out on a limb here guys, so just give me a break. We can’t all be tastemakers. It takes a special… oh why the hell am I even explaining to you? Just watch the stupid video.
Will you be attending? You should probably RSVP either way with a video reply.
