Turkish Reporter Reports in Black Face on Barack Obama

2009 April 8
by Colby Day

Shame on you Turks! How dare your prime Flash-TV reporter decide to ignorantly don blackface in order to report on Barack Obama’s recent visit to Turkey, no matter how cool the name of the television station he works for. We Americans can only assume this is meant to be an extremely culturally unaware action, and take umbrage. Therefore, I declare that from this day forward, all Americans should blindly and indiscriminately deride the entire ethnic group of the Turks. The only way to repay ignorance, is with angrier ignorance.

Of course, many Turks have since tried to explain that these actions do not in any way have the same connotations for their people as they do for ours. But it’s just like a Turk to say that. Who could possibly believe that a reporter would do absolutely no research on a country he was reporting on? How asinine. Do you really expect us to believe that, people of Turkey? Naturally, I had to spew forth my disgust and anger so quickly, that I didn’t have the time to in any way investigate whether or not your claims are true. But that doesn’t even matter, because all Turks are liars, belly dancers, or sell counterfeit cigarettes on the subway.

If it’s bad in my culture, it must be bad in yours. Plus, this is America. We make the rules of political correctness, and all you Turks better just suck it up and follow. It’s for your own good. We know better than you anyway. Come on, your country can’t even decide if it’s part of Europe or Asia.

I will, however, offer you one way out of the mess you’re getting yourself into. In the spirit of brotherhood and cultural understanding, you must erase the memory of your trangressions by eradicating the words “Black Sea” from history. Instead, perhaps you could rename it something like “Sea of Rainbow Love.” That would go a long way in helping you out of this mess.

Related posts:

  1. Barack Obama Reads This Blog

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