I’m Back, Bitches! Sorry. I’m back.
Sorry, that was inappropriate. Good thing your kids weren’t reading this blog. Wait, you are a kid? What are you doing here? Do you like candy? Do you want to help me find my puppy in the basement? Oh, why don’t we take some pictures?
Wait, what? Sorry about that also. That was even more inappropriate than the first inappropriate thing I wrote.
Give me a break, I’ve been off the internet for a long time. I’ve had no outlet for my snark and strange behavior other than every day life, which is simply not enough for some of us. While I’ve been gone, I’ve been busy producing a feature film I wrote, entitled “I Don’t Want to Kill Myself.” I keep describing it as a dark comedy, but that’s only because I hate the word “dramedy.” I don’t know if I can even really call that a word. It’s more a meme? Sorry, this is getting very technical and beside the point. For more information on the film, you can check out the website: www.IDontWanttoKillMyself.com. The website kind of sucks, but you know what, I bet you didn’t produce a feature film during this time, did you? No? And you didn’t build the website for that film you didn’t produce, either? Odd.
Wow. So rude. I don’t know what’s come over me. It’s probably time for a nap. Remember, this is one of those few moments I’ll say anything about what I’m doing, so don’t fear. We’ll be back to jokes about Taco Bell giving the Prime Minister diarrhea in no time. Phew.
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