Moses and Wife: A Play

There is a small table which Moses sits at as Zipporah, his wife, tidies up the place sweeping dust around.The stage is fairly empty, with just the bare essentials for an entire hovel: bed, table, a cupboard for everything else, a few rocks that serve as chairs.

Zipporah: Moses, darling, you should not be walking up some mountain in your condition.

Moses: It’s not like I have a choice. I have an appointment with the burning bush. Do you think I want to have to schlep all the way up this mountain?

Zipporah: No. No, no, no. How many times do I have to tell you? You can not be kvelling around mountains talking to some shrub just because it’s on fire. Don’t go Moses.

Moses: It’s not like I have a choice. It’s God’s will.

Zipporah: Oh, so now it’s God’s will, huh? How did some bush that had been set afire convince you it was god?

Moses: We’ve been over this already. I see the bush on fire, and God starts talking to me.

Zipporah: And what “God” is this?

Moses: The God of Abraham. I told you all this.

Zipporah: Oh, great. So you’re going up to converse with the God who tried to convince Abraham to knife his own son? Real smart, Moses. Go ahead. Great plan. Good luck with this fiery shrub of yours.

Moses: First of all, the god of Abraham did not want him to “knife” his own son. It was a test of his faith. Secondly, I’m not going to be taking any of our children with me, so there’s nothing to worry about. Third, it’s not exactly like I can say no to the All Mighty God.

Moses: Why not? Why not? What are you crazy?

Zipporah: Look, I’m not the one saying I’ve been speaking to God through a burning bush at the top of a mountain that nobody else has seen. So don’t you dare go calling me crazy.

Moses: You wanna know why you don’t say no to God? Look at Job. And that was just God’s idea of a good time. He didn’t even do anything wrong. And you want me to say no to God.

Zipporah: I don’t like the sound of any of this, Moses. First, you talk to this bush, then you come back aged; you’re entirely different. Now you have a fever, and you want to go back up this hill to talk with this plant again? How do you know it hasn’t all burned up by now?

Moses: Do you honestly think I don’t realize how crazy this sounds? Look, God told me the bush would still be there. You think I didn’t even check to make sure it wouldn’t have burnt up by now? This is God we’re talking about here. He’s all powerful. If he says the bush will be there, it’ll be there.

Zipporah: Oh, so if he’s all powerful, how come he hasn’t done anything about your stutter?

Moses: He’s not an entertainer dear. God doesn’t do requests. You get what you g-g-g-get.

Zipporah: Well, Moses, I spoke with my father about this and he agrees with me. You are to stay here until you get well. You’re feverish. Please, get in bed and rest.

Moses: Oy! Your father. What does he know about sane?

Zipporah: Moses, please. If not for yourself, then do it for me. What am I supposed to tell the other women while we’re down at the river washing clothes? “So, how’s your Moses? Oh, he’s fine. Back up on the mountain talking to that bush again? Yep, they’ve become such close friends.” It’s embarrassing. I’m pleading with you Moses. Stay here. My parents are going to be here in the morning, and we’ll move to a new pasture. Besides, if it is the all powerful God, why do you have to go all the way up there? Why can’t he come down to you?

Moses: It’s not like I’m ordering take-out. You can’t make God come to you. He wants to meet with me, so I have to go there.

Zipporah: Also, if he’s so great, why has he chosen you, of all people, to speak to the Israelites for him? Don’t you think that he could have found someone a little more qualified? Maybe someone without a speech impediment?

Moses: I don’t know why he picked me. He just did.

Zipporah: You keep telling me, he’s all-mighty, all-powerful, he doesn’t make any mistakes. But he picked you? You don’t think that’s a mistake?

Moses: Look, I just have to meet this bush this one last time. He’s giving me some Commandments, and that’s it. He’s writing them up right now.

Zipporah: And how is he going to give you these commandments?

Moses: On stone tablets.

Zipporah: Don’t you dare think you’re going to be coming back from this mountain and leaving some stone tablets around here. We’ve got enough of your junk lying around as it is.

Moses: Well this is not junk. It’s the word of God, written in stone.

Zipporah: Moses. Please. I’m begging you. Stay. How do you know this isn’t all a big prank? Aaron’s probably been back behind that shrub every time laughing himself to tears all at your expense. Remember that time he convinced you that Billy Bass fish thing was the word of God? What’s the difference between that and this?

Moses: I still think there was something up with that fish thing.

Zipporah: And now everyone’s going around saying, “There’s something fishy going on here.” I’m the laughingstock of the pasture.

Moses: (contemplates for a moment) Well, you were right about that fish thing. Ok, you might be right about all this. But I’m still not entirely convinced. This is pretty good, even for Aaron. I mean, the booming voice, the fire. I’m gonna go up and really get close to it this time, make sure it’s not just him pulling my leg. Thanks Zippy.

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