Barack Obama Reads This Blog

2009 September 30

Well reader(s), I’ve got some important news. It seems that, in between important meetings about the security of the state, Barack Obama reads this blog. That’s correct, I’ve been endorsed by good old B.O. (now I know why that nickname never caught on for him). Not only does he read this blog, but he even digs through the archives, reading articles from long ago.

How, you might be asking yourself, and me (I hope not, since I can’t hear you), can I possibly know that Barack Obama reads my blog? Well, because he left me a very polite comment: read more…

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Mexican ‘Lil Wayne on NBC’s “Community”

2009 September 29
by Colby Day

If you haven’t been watching Community because you were waiting for the opinion of a professional as to whether it’s good or not, wait no more. It’s pretty good. That’s right, I just implied that I am a professional. Here’s a clip from last week’s episode:


Also, it seems they’ve hired the Mexican ‘Lil Wayne to write for them, which is always a good thing. He’s very good with these types of character-driven pieces.

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I’m Back, Bitches! Sorry. I’m back.

2009 September 23

Sorry, that was inappropriate. Good thing your kids weren’t reading this blog. Wait, you are a kid? What are you doing here? Do you like candy? Do you want to help me find my puppy in the basement? Oh, why don’t we take some pictures?

Wait, what? Sorry about that also. That was even more inappropriate than the first inappropriate thing I wrote.

Give me a break, I’ve been off the internet for a long time. I’ve had no outlet for my snark and strange behavior other than every day life, which is simply not enough for some of us. While I’ve been gone, I’ve been busy producing a feature film I wrote, entitled “I Don’t Want to Kill Myself.” I keep describing it as a dark comedy, but that’s only because I hate the word “dramedy.” I don’t know if I can even really call that a word. It’s more a meme? Sorry, this is getting very technical and beside the point. For more information on the film, you can check out the website: www.IDontWanttoKillMyself.com. The website kind of sucks, but you know what, I bet you didn’t produce a feature film during this time, did you? No? And you didn’t build the website for that film you didn’t produce, either? Odd.

Wow. So rude. I don’t know what’s come over me. It’s probably time for a nap. Remember, this is one of those few moments I’ll say anything about what I’m doing, so don’t fear. We’ll be back to jokes about Taco Bell giving the Prime Minister diarrhea in no time. Phew.

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Bruno Movie Quoting Taskforce

2009 July 3
by Colby Day


I only wish this task force had existed for My Big Fat Greek Wedding! God, I had to hear “Put some Windex on it!” so many times.

Thanks FreeWilliamsburg for pointing this out.

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Ask A Guy Riding A Unicycle: Hospital Bed Edition

2009 July 3
by Colby Day

Guy Riding a UnicycleUnfortunately, dear readers “Ask A Guy Riding a Unicycle” is currently on hiatus. Our resident Guy Riding a Unicycle is currently in the hospital after a nasty tumble off the unicycle sent him through an open sewer grate. Apparently he was in the act of writing his advice column with his iPhone when his unicycle’s tire exploded and we can only be thankful that Guy Riding a Unicycle has not decided to sue me. read more…

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Sponsored News: Exploding Pants Edition

2009 June 30
by Colby Day

As the month of June draws to a close, there has been an outpouring of corporate sponsored news with favorable mentions of brand names for me to share with you. Which is fortunate, because my rent is due tomorrow. Here it is, your fix of Sponsored News: read more…

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The Terminator I Wish I Had Seen

2009 June 30
by Colby Day

This is one of the deleted scenes from the most recent installment of the Terminator franchise, in which we finally get the explanation as to why all future robotic soldiers have had Arnold Schwarzenegger’s faced grafted onto their metallic skulls. Plus, silly accents!


I don’t know about anyone else, but I think I would much rather have seen an entire film about Sgt. William Candy and his kooky hijinks in the Skynet laboratories. It would be like Biodome, but with Terminators hell bent on the destruction of mankind.

You know you think so too. Thanks to FilmDrunk for the find.

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New Feature: Movie Monday Live Tweeting

2009 June 30
by Colby Day

Well folks, if you’re not already following me on Twitter, you missed out on the beginning of a revolution last night. It all started when I recorded The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift a few weeks ago because I thought, “I bet that’s bad.” As it turns out, it may be the best movie I have ever seen. Ever. In fact, I was so Fastly & Furiously hung over from it today that I had to watch five hours of cool cars crashing into each other before I could even get out of bed.

Of course, the movie was the best movie I’ve ever seen, but how does that help you? Well, I tweeted about it. My tweets included such gems as: “I like the driving fast cars aspects of this film, but the emotional elements are leaving me pretty confused. More racing! Less break-ups!”And then, when things got more intense: “This race is too intense! THE ROAD IS SO NARROW FOR DRIFTING!” It was a rollercoaster of emotion, but now, one that you can capture from your own home every week.

All you have to do is follow me on Twitter! This coming Monday I will be watching “Shoot ‘Em Up” because I saw it on cable once and thought “I think this movie will be ridiculous.” I invite all of you to rent the movie, or find it on your Tivo’s and watch it with me at the same time as I provide my incisive, all too excitable, commentary via Twitter.

It’s a Movie Monday revolution that someday our grandchildren will learn about in history class because by then it will have replaced the real revolution in terms of relevance to American culture as well as badassness.

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New Feature: Future Fridays

2009 June 26
by Colby Day

Thanks to a complicated scientific experiment gone horribly awry, every Friday if I am able to properly position my newspaper on the coffee table, a wormhole opens up that allows me to see the headlines from years and years into the future. It may sound complicated and far-fetched, but believe me, being able to see these headlines has been both a blessing and a curse. So, naturally, I figured I would share that ability with you. read more…

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Inside the Internship: Day One

2009 June 25
by Colby Day

Hey y’all. My name’s Jamie and I’m Colby Day’s newest intern. He asked me to do a column about what moving here to New York for an internship’s like. I’ve never written anything before (except for YouTube comments) so I’m pretty excited! read more…

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